Procraductivity: It’s my New Word

I have a problem. I’m addicted to procrastination. I really am. I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. Finishing my high school AP summer reading list in one week, writing my grad school application the night before it’s due, buying clothes online minutes before the sale expires—you get the idea. Tonight after my night class, I have two papers to write, which—according to my writing process—I’ve already started in my head some time ago and even hand-written an outline for; however, I’m just not quite ready for the pound-it-out session. So, I roamed Target for two hours and finally went to find the computer paper, (the thing I came for), as soon as they made the “store is now closed” announcement. That’s me—procrastinating even while shopping. It’s annoying, and it’s even worse to see written out.

That being said, it’s not all bad news to be a procrastinator. I find that I’m actually quite productive when I procrastinate. Since I’m a student again, I am productive while I procrastinate on writing assignments and readings for class. Apart from catching up on all current events, world news, and friends’ blogs, I also tend to become very “home-makery”. This week alone I’ve baked brownies, a carrot cake, cooked several meals (usually a rare occasion), and hosted a dinner party for 10 friends on Monday night. My laundry is done (although remains unfolded in baskets). I’m just waiting for the right assignment to come around so that I can commence the folding. I also have caught up on all of my other household duties, including calling the lawn man to come mow, decorating for fall (mini pumpkins and multicolored corn), and have fully vacuumed the floors in every room. Following the last vacuuming episode, I also decided to empty the vacuum dust-carriage thing (obvious procrastination, there), which ended in a second vacuuming episode (note to the wise: empty the dust-carriage thing before you vacuum your whole house…you’re welcome).

Shopping is also an excellent way to productively avoid work. I’ve recently updated my wardrobe with the latest (and most on-sale) fashions, which has taken quite some time, perusing websites of both new-to-me-stores and my tried and true go-tos. This is mostly problematic because I am a student and now have a student’s paycheck. I really should not be spending my time shopping online (or elsewhere, for that matter, including random trips to the outlet mall, per last week’s procrastination, or late night paper-runs to Target).

To curb the impulse buying, I began to do grocery shopping at a Smaller Grocery Store instead of one-stop-super-shop. The Smaller Grocery Store[1] doesn’t even usually sell scented candles, so the only things I am tempted by are hardy mums (that was also included in my fall decorating procrastination moment) and the rare bottle of good, on-sale (there’s an oxymoron for you) wine. Did I mention that I use grocery shopping as a procrastination method? All of that cooking requires more trips to the store, which apparently I am ok with now that I don’t want to do anything else on my to-do list.

Although there is much to be said for working ahead on course assignments (and sometimes I try—it’s just not as fun), I do enjoy the productivity that happens during my procrastination. I’ve decided to call this “procraductivity”: The productivity that occurs while one is procrastinating. It’s a phenomenon that I believe many people relate to, as I put it on my Facebook status as I was procrastinating writing this assignment and in just 2 minutes I had 13 likes. I don’t know why I do it, and I’ve tried to be a different type of person who starts things in advance and doesn’t wait until the deadline is looming…it’s just not me. My brain must be addicted to the rush so much that it refuses to work until it gets it. Either that, or, it just takes too much effort to work ahead. At least I can be thankful that, while it’s not always popular and it doesn’t sound responsible to procrastinate as much as I do, I am indeed being productive. My roommate, my house, and my wardrobe thank me for it.